Late November 30th, I (Jenna) decided to stop hemming and hawing and jump dress-first into Dressember. I heard about it through fellow husband-wife-duo Jenny & Tyler's newsletter, and I joined Jenny's team goal of trying to raise $4500 to fund an International Justice Mission rescue mission.
From the team Dressember page:
"IJM is a human rights organization that works to combat human trafficking and modern day slavery, and basically stands up for the rights of those who cannot stand up for themselves. They are a group of lawyers, investigators, and social workers. They go into situations to investigate and gather evidence, rescue victims, provide aftercare for the formerly enslaved, and prosecute offenders. IJM is making real change. They work with local police and governments with the intention of fixing broken justice systems. They ensure that the law protects the most vulnerable."
I am NOT ABOUT being cold. Truly. I don absurd amounts of layers at the mere thought of going outside below 50 degrees. But, I do own dresses... a lot of them... and it seemed like something good to focus on this December besides the 'typical' holiday rush (which I despise. but that's another blog post.). Now that the 31 days are complete, here are my reflections, in no particular order:
-It's not as cold as I think, usually. This might seem silly. But I really do fear being cold, and there were only a few days this month that I felt any real pain from wearing tights out in the elements. I can stand to toughen up a bit, I think.
-Forced discipline is good for me. This was a willing endeavor, of course, but I was 'forced' to continue because of the public aspect. People would see me at work and out and about each day, so if I wasn't wearing a dress, it would be quickly evident. On the rare occasion I wouldn't be in planned direct contact with others, I was still posting a photo on Instagram every day, so I still needed to get into a dress. Self-discipline is something I struggle with, and the accountability that came with this made me actually follow through. (Unlike the Advent calendar I made a couple of years ago that I try to force us to get through each year... but again, another blog post.....)
-People are generous. This was a reminder; I have learned this already in incredible ways (namely, making our last album!). It is intimidating to campaign for a financial cause in December, when a) people need to buy gifts and b) seemingly every non-profit organization is trying to raise money to meet their year-end budgets. A goal of $300 seemed a bit lofty, and I really didn't know what would happen... but it was met and surpassed by Day 17. I'm so grateful for the women who got behind this cause to give other people a chance at life and freedom!
-Let nothing be taken for granted. Each day that I posted a picture of the dress I was wearing, I intentionally tried to shed light on the issue of human trafficking with my description. And I found that I could relate almost everything about my life to this. If I had food to eat, chose what I wore, had a bed to sleep in, worked a vocation of my choosing, had access to technology, used my educated mind, saw my husband... all of it was suddenly precious and no longer a given. And this was not the passive realization of counting my blessings and sitting on my haunches - it came in such a way that moved me to do something about those who do not have these basic human rights because they have been stolen, trafficked, sold, robbed.
-I own an absurd amount of clothing. Again, a reminder, nothing new. But someone asked me in the beginning of the month if I really had enough dresses to wear for 31 days, and I said, "Oh, no way - I'll do laundry and repeat and restyle them as I go." With 10 days to go, I counted the unworn dresses hanging in my closet (without having repeated one yet) and realized that I could surpass the 31 day mark EASILY with plenty leftover. Yikes. Excess is something God has been working on in me, and this was another painful reminder that I can't get comfortable feeling like I've handled it in one area of my life and ignore the others. Most of these dresses were purchased very inexpensively (under $10) or were even hand me downs from a friend - but, let that not excuse indulgence. It cues important communication from me, as others ask and are pleasantly impressed with my wardrobe. This is NOT an area I am proud of, nor do I want to perpetuate the sins of wasting resources and hoarding possessions. We cannot take one bit of them into the next life. They are dust. I need to tell myself this daily and loosen my attachment to them.
-This was a creative outlet. I have grown to enjoy creativity in fashion to a small extent, and this month pushed that further. I am no fashion magazine trendsetter, but I found I was experiencing some of the same enjoyment that I feel when I'm decorating our apartment or being crafty. When it comes to visual arts, I can't draw or paint to create from nothing like Chris can, but I can combine existing elements in ways that please and intrigue me. I am still processing this, but I think it is opening me to several things, including:
1) to be able to let more clothes go. I experimented more with how to combine different wardrobe pieces and accessories, and the possibilities currently in my closet are ENDLESS. I can pare down a considerable amount and still be able to come up with creative combinations. Some of this is thanks to seeing Dressember pics of girls who took one dress and styled it 7 unique ways throughout the month (or even 31 different ways! Some girls, including the founder of the movement, wore the same dress all month long and looked like knockouts the whole way through). I can do that.
2) to toe the line between recognizing God-given joy in creativity in this arena and the dangerous slope into materialism and vanity. The propensity for these things is very real in my life, and I need the Spirit to keep me in balance.
-God can use anything for His purposes. It's soooooo easy for us to judge those who have different interests and passions than our own, and who dedicate different aspects of their lives to God. But I had conversations about human trafficking with my mechanic, my family, my coworkers... these would not have taken place were it not for a compliment based on whatever dress-centered outfit I wore that day. God can use something as simple as a dress to create change and save lives.
-Social media really can foster connection. So much of it masquerades as doing just that while really alienating us from one another as we compare, judge, comment, hate. But as I used my #dressember hashtag each day on Instagram, I got likes from users I did not know. Visits to their profiles often showed that they were working in many ways that align with the mission of IJM - Noonday ambassadors, independent clothing designers with integrity, fair trade boutique entrepreneurs, and so many more. I got to see so many pieces of what the Kingdom is doing! I also got to see creativity pour out of Dressember participants. Some had stunning photographs capturing their dresses, some were men coming up with inventive ways to support the mission instead of wearing a dress, some were women doing surprising things in a dress, some were artists who gave voice to this movement through their craft, some found clever ways to visually work the mission into their photographs and descriptions, some were teachers like me! And all were uniting under one cause, one umbrella to speak truth and stand for justice. I was a part of something much bigger than me, and I got to affirm and connect with strangers I will likely never meet.
-On the flipside, full disclosure: I hate selfies. I hate taking them of myself, I'm not really into seeing other people's, I'm not really about the whole concept. It just feels like "HEY LOOK AT ME!" to me. No judgement on those of you who love them, this is just my personal bent. My exception is if someone is with me in the picture, because it's capturing a moment of interaction. But for most of these, I only remembered to take a photo when I was alone. For a while, I kept my face entirely out of the pictures, because I knew I'd end up taking 8 shots until I had one I sort of liked of myself. I then found that as long as I kept my phone in front of part of my face, I wasn't too critical. There are some of my full face, but it took a while to get there. I promise I don't hate the way I look in real life or in a mirror. But a month of taking selfies was starting to have the self-indulgent feeling I had correctly anticipated. It's a vanity thing. So, I'm relieved to be done with them for a while. Too many minutes messing with filters and adjustments. If I do it again, I will enlist Chris to take creative pictures that are not me in a mirror.
-How I direct compliments is crucial. This month was a more day to day occurrence with coworkers, trying to point each "You look so cute!" back to IJM, the issues at hand, and not glorifying the mountains of dresses I own. This is a big thing when we're on stage, too - wearing a fun outfit to play a show definitely helps me get in the zone of confidence and creativity. But if all people (especially young women) walk away with is an impression of cute clothes or 'style,' I have failed the mission of why we make music. The answer is NOT to refute them, because that dishonors the giver; it's simply trying to channel the glory to the One who deserves it. It's a delicate dance. I'm trying not to step on toes.
-They say it takes 21 days to break a habit. I felt this in terms of desire for pants, especially jeans. Jeans are pretty much my go-to, but after so long of not wearing them, I stopped missing them. I attribute much of this to leggings being in style. If tights were my only option for warmth, I might not have gotten so used to it. But with it being the holiday season and endless food abounding, leggings were really much friendlier to my expanding waistline than jeans would have been (are), anyway. I've worn jeans these first 3 days of January, but I changed back out of them last night because leggings would not dig into my leftover-eating hips. I also welcome legwarmers back to the world. I missed you, legwarmers, though I was too young to get the hang of you back in the '80s.
-You don't realize the value of what you have until you really use it (or don't). Obvious, but true. I often have lusted after cute outfits and clothing pieces and accessories as I see them in advertising, in stores, on people I deem cooler than myself, anywhere. I have a bit of an insatiable thirst when it comes to this. I always elevate whatever new thing I'm looking at above everything I already own. I didn't just throw a dress on each day this month; I put thought into every outfit and created more detailed looks than I do many days, almost like I was dressing for a show every day (NOTE: this does NOT mean the goal was/is to impress others; I was finding creative pleasure in this and feeling confident in these choices. I make this distinction more for me than for you, to check my own motives.). And I realized that I really do have so many pieces that could create an endless combination of looks that I really like. This cured some of my fashion lust. So much so that, for Christmas, Chris gifted me with the promise of a trip to Francesca's where he will pick out something for me, something I'd long proclaimed would make me happy as a clam. And it does still make me happy, but I will need a while before I feel like I want or need this to happen - I'm almost 'cute'-ed out. I did not think this was possible. (He gave me an expiration date of March 31, so I've got a couple months to get over it!)
-Maybe THIS is real Christmas. Jesus came to the world poor and homeless. His people were in bondage to sin and could not free themselves. And he spoke freedom for the captives, hope for the hopeless, all from a posture of humility and earthly weakness. When we truly see the slave, the widow, the orphan in distress, we see Jesus. When we begin to feel the weight of their pain, we feel the weight of the duplicity of Advent - the longing of the Israelites for so, so long for a Savior, and the groaning of creation now for Him to come back again and make all things right in the face of slavery, abduction, injustice, fear. With each life we free, we are saying "YES, Jesus. Welcome." We are reordering creation in the smallest of pieces. Each post from IJM about a new rescue gives me "a thrill of hope / the weary world rejoices." This is why we have Christmas at all, and this is the working out of our daily Advent.
Thanks to those of you who followed along on Instagram. There is still time to donate to the final total - the overall goal is $500k, and we are almost there. It was an adventure, and above all else, I pray for hope, freedom, and restoration for all!!
My personal fundraising page: https://support.dressemberfoundation.org/fundraise?fcid=382369
