Saturday, June 15, 2013

Back In the Saddle Again

So, my New Year's Resolution said that I'd write at least one blog post every month.  That lasted until April.  May was nonexistent.  But I wrote a bunch throughout Lent, so maybe that counts?  Or something?  Regardless, it's June, school's out, and I'm back.

To start us out for some (hopefully) more frequent summer blogging, a little insight into our hearts and passion right now.  We are creating our second album.  And we adore the tiny, fledgling fetus it is right now.  It will be our surrogate child for a while.  We are rather emotionally invested in it, which causes absolutely NO communication break downs or failures, in case you were wondering.  It also causes virtually NO stress about timelines, deadlines, skill, money........  ahem.

While these pesky human emotions and insecurities can indeed get in the way, we have something too important to get blocked and tramped down.  Chris, in a moment of clarity when we started to hit a wall one night, had us stop and begin writing a bit of mission/vision casting for this album.  In other words, why bother?  Why record these songs?  Below are snippets taken from these pieces of cardstock that we covered in various Sharpie colors, furiously attempting to translate our inner thoughts and desires to a set of visible and understandable characters on a page.


"There is an urgency in my heart for these truths. Clearly they've been said before, in very many ways. But this world hurts. It bleeds, groans, shakes, and mourns for something it long forgot, something Unnamed and ignored. But truly, it has a Name. A Heartbeat. A Face. A Voice. A Rhythm. A Disarming Force that in a breath can crumble every lie. And that is the pull of this album for me – there is Hope beyond what we've been fooled into swallowing. Far off, yet so near. A day unknown, yet this very moment. I want it to be a vessel the Spirit can reach right through and grab someone's heart. To still, to quiet, to awaken, to lead, to embolden...  A story of raw brokenness being transformed into freedom.
...
It is sure to unleash my insecurities – being able to play the instruments well enough, not understanding the process, being wrong, making mistakes... I want God to intervene for me and get me out of the darn way. Truly, I want this to be the start of a new chapter for C&J, and I'm not sure of all the pages (or any of them!)... but I want us to love people and to be instruments used as much as possible." 

  
"...God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering. Though musically a departure, it does feel like the spiritual successor to How the Fall Makes You Feel. The world is still a mess, but now we're not looking down at our feet, we're looking to the promise of God of resurrection through Jesus, of the righting of wrongs, of the redemption of mankind.

We look to that promise though it is still out of our reach and control. We wait for it patiently, hoping in the trueness of God's promise. While we wait, and the night stretches on, we ask God to lead us until the promise is fulfilled, until our faith is sight. We hold to His words, knowing that remaining faithful to Him takes, at the same time, all that we have, as well as what we lack. These songs, to me, communicate life from the no man's land. The time between the fall of man and Jesus' return. These songs are the cry of our hearts that in the midst of the battle, You would still be making us fruitful, making us more like You. They're songs written by people who are in these lands of suffering, for people in the lands of suffering. 
 
Artistically, my desire for the project's creation is that it would be joyous. Though personally, these songs mean the world to me, that's a huge burden to place on a recording. I don't want it to be so weighty that I feel as if my soul is at risk with every drum fill I don't love, or vocal take I botch. I think these songs could truly serve people, but not if we don't love playing them. Not if we're counting on them to make us rich, or build our fan base. I want to bring the wisdom of experience into the studio, for sure, but I don't want to bring in my baggage or jadedness. I'd rather count my blessings that God has allowed this vision to progress as much as it has. I'd rather serve in the creation of art than create art that will serve me.
...
So why this album? Why these songs? Why these people? Really, I can guess and reason, but at the end of the day, something in me says 'to make music.' I can't shake it from me anymore than I can unravel my skin. I thank God for the clarity and burden of a purpose. For “life without meaning is the torture of restlessness and vague desire. A boat yearning for the sea, yet afraid.” But it is my hope to make music that testifies to the mercy of God. I am thankful that God hasn't handed these dreams over to us, for a hope that we can see is no hope at all. I hope to always be working towards using art to shine light onto fragments of God's truth, and to not have too much, and thus be content, and forget what it is I'd set out to do at the start."




And so, we press on.  Glory to the One who is deserving!

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